Our guest-poster, BadFux, the government apologist, here explains why we need a government.
People are no damn good. They're lazy, shiftless morons that barely lifted themselves out of the primordial muck. I should know, because I'm really smart, and I read some books and stuff. Anyone who argues with me believes in unicorns and cotton-candy forests.
Government is the only thing that keeps us from becoming savages. Without government, we'd fearfully huddle in caves, cold and hungry. People wouldn't know how to feed themselves or their children. No one would educate their kids. There would be no roads, no cars, no railroads. I seriously doubt the wheel would have been invented. No medicine, no computers, no tools of any kind.
I know what you're thinking. You say, How come government people have the exact opposite inclinations from their non-government brethren? How come government people know goodness and light while the common rabble huddle in darkness? It's a gift from Providence. And magical jackboots. You wouldn't understand.